First, I want to invite you to take a few breaths, become still and present, and then send a wave of love and prayers to the people of Ukraine. May the hearts and minds of the aggressors be opened and changed.
The situation in Ukraine brought up a lot of memories from living in Zagreb, Croatia in 1991.
One thing that’s stuck with me from that time is the importance of carrying on with love, rather than giving into fear or hatred. We were asked to keep living, healing, and growing in love – as hard and impossible as that might have been.
What does it mean to grow in love?
Earlier this week, I was working on three sessions that I’m presenting at an in-person workshop today: Healing Deeper; Loving and Being Loved; and How Service to Others, Love, and Healing Go Together.
The Loving and Being Loved session deals with self-love. Inevitably so, because in order to accept God’s love for us, we have to be willing to love what God is loving.
Unless we learn to love ourselves, we can’t accept God’s love, let it heal us, and let it help us grow so that we can “love our neighbor as ourselves”.
Right?
The sad part is that we aren’t talking enough about what healthy self-love looks like. It’s therefore easy for us to confuse it with what it’s not.
For some, self-love might even sound like something sinful and too self-indulgent.
First, I want to invite you to take a few breaths, become still and present, and then send a wave of love and prayers to the people of Ukraine. May the hearts and minds of the aggressors be opened and changed.
The situation in Ukraine brought up a lot of memories from living in Zagreb, Croatia in 1991.
One thing that’s stuck with me from that time is the importance of carrying on with love, rather than giving into fear or hatred. We were asked to keep living, healing, and growing in love – as hard and impossible as that might have been.
What does it mean to grow in love?
Earlier this week, I was working on three sessions that I’m presenting at an in-person workshop today: Healing Deeper; Loving and Being Loved; and How Service to Others, Love, and Healing Go Together.
The Loving and Being Loved session deals with self-love. Inevitably so, because in order to accept God’s love for us, we have to be willing to love what God is loving.
Unless we learn to love ourselves, we can’t accept God’s love, let it heal us, and let it help us grow so that we can “love our neighbor as ourselves”.
Right?
The sad part is that we aren’t talking enough about what healthy self-love looks like. It’s therefore easy for us to confuse it with what it’s not.
For some, self-love might even sound like something sinful and too self-indulgent.
I too struggled with embracing the concept of healthy self-love, and here’s what I learned about it:
→ Self-love is never selfish and it doesn’t hurt others. (Entitlement, superiority, and righteousness are not self-love.)
→ Self-love isn’t indulgent and it doesn’t make excuses for bad behavior. (Having a piece of chocolate may feel like self-love, but eating a whole cake and avoiding what’s underneath the craving is not.)
→ Self-love is not all rainbows and unicorns. There is such a thing as ‘toxic positivity’ – it’s when we avoid facing challenging and uncomfortable feelings by reframing struggles to positivity. Self-love embraces all of one-self – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and it desires to grow and heal constantly. (Once, when my son was really hurting and I was comforting him, he said: “Mama, there is nothing you can say that will make this better. It really sucks and I need to cry through it.” That’s self-love.)
→ Self-love allows change and growth. “I’m just made this way” can become a rigid place where we don’t allow God to move us and expand our ability to love and grow.
→ Self-love doesn’t avoid conflict, but seeks ways to communicate needs, thoughts, and emotions in a respectful way. Healthy conflict helps us grow and uncover areas in our lives where we need deeper healing.
→ Self-love is not self-reliance, but the realization that our happiness and our very existence lies in connection with God and all of God’s creation. Sometimes, the only way to experience self-love is through first experiencing God’s love for us.
→ Self-love is awareness of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, in order to grow into an expanded and more loving version of ourselves.
→ Self-compassion is a part of self-love that helps us accept our failures and learn from our mistakes.
When we practice this (no one is really perfect at it), we bring peace and harmony into the world. We are then able to recognize those who aren’t practicing healthy self-love, set healthy boundaries around them, silently direct some loving kindness toward them, and place them into the loving hands of God.
I too struggled with embracing the concept of healthy self-love, and here’s what I learned about it:
→ Self-love is never selfish and it doesn’t hurt others. (Entitlement, superiority, and righteousness are not self-love.)
→ Self-love isn’t indulgent and it doesn’t make excuses for bad behavior. (Having a piece of chocolate may feel like self-love, but eating a whole cake and avoiding what’s underneath the craving is not.)
→ Self-love is not all rainbows and unicorns. There is such a thing as ‘toxic positivity’ – it’s when we avoid facing challenging and uncomfortable feelings by reframing struggles to positivity. Self-love embraces all of one-self – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and it desires to grow and heal constantly. (Once, when my son was really hurting and I was comforting him, he said: “Mama, there is nothing you can say that will make this better. It really sucks and I need to cry through it.” That’s self-love.)
→ Self-love allows change and growth. “I’m just made this way” can become a rigid place where we don’t allow God to move us and expand our ability to love and grow.
→ Self-love doesn’t avoid conflict, but seeks ways to communicate needs, thoughts, and emotions in a respectful way. Healthy conflict helps us grow and uncover areas in our lives where we need deeper healing.
→ Self-love is not self-reliance, but the realization that our happiness and our very existence lies in connection with God and all of God’s creation. Sometimes, the only way to experience self-love is through first experiencing God’s love for us.
→ Self-love is awareness of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, in order to grow into an expanded and more loving version of ourselves.
→ Self-compassion is a part of self-love that helps us accept our failures and learn from our mistakes.
When we practice this (no one is really perfect at it), we bring peace and harmony into the world. We are then able to recognize those who aren’t practicing healthy self-love, set healthy boundaries around them, silently direct some loving kindness toward them, and place them into the loving hands of God.
Song
Here is a song in Croatian – Million Years.
It says: “For a million years the sun’s been shining for us, and for each one of them, I say a prayer.”
The song really talks about our connection as one human family. When one part suffers, all suffer… Here are a million prayers for peace.
Here is a song in Croatian – Million Years.
It says: “For a million years the sun’s been shining for us, and for each one of them, I say a prayer.”
The song really talks about our connection as one human family. When one part suffers, all suffer… Here are a million prayers for peace.
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AND live your dream life.
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event updates directly to your inbox.