We all have the ability to make choices.
We choose what ice cream flavor we’d like to get at the ice cream parlor. We can choose to sleep late or wake up early on our day off. Although we can’t choose weather conditions, we do have a choice to greet the rain with disappointment and grumpiness, or with joy and gratitude.
Many people who find themselves in difficult situations and overcome them will tell you that, although we often don’t get to choose the situations, we can all choose how we will react to it.
We just have to have the presence of mind, resilience of the spirit, and a hopeful, calm heart. That’s hard – especially when we are already exhausted, disheartened, overwhelmed, and discouraged.
Here is my reflection on finding a path that helps me to intercept my reactivity and sense of helplessness, and allows me the space to choose how I want to respond and proceed.
Between two thoughts there is a gap.
In that tiny gap, we have a choice about which thought we will think next. That next thought will produce an action. The action will create an experience, and the experiences strung together to make up our reality.
Neuroscientists tell us that, although our brain is constantly processing and sending multiple messages to our body system, we can consciously think only one thought at a time. (If you are skeptical, try it. :))
This tiny gap is truly like a porthole to a world of joy, peace, and happiness. At least that’s what it felt to me when I realized that it exists.
We all have the ability to make choices.
We choose what ice cream flavor we’d like to get at the ice cream parlor. We can choose to sleep late or wake up early on our day off. Although we can’t choose weather conditions, we do have a choice to greet the rain with disappointment and grumpiness, or with joy and gratitude.
Many people who find themselves in difficult situations and overcome them will tell you that, although we often don’t get to choose the situations, we can all choose how we will react to it.
We just have to have the presence of mind, resilience of the spirit, and a hopeful, calm heart. That’s hard – especially when we are already exhausted, disheartened, overwhelmed, and discouraged.
Here is my reflection on finding a path that helps me to intercept my reactivity and sense of helplessness, and allows me the space to choose how I want to respond and proceed.
Between two thoughts there is a gap.
In that tiny gap, we have a choice about which thought we will think next. That next thought will produce an action. The action will create an experience, and the experiences strung together to make up our reality.
Neuroscientists tell us that, although our brain is constantly processing and sending multiple messages to our body system, we can consciously think only one thought at a time. (If you are skeptical, try it. :))
This tiny gap is truly like a porthole to a world of joy, peace, and happiness. At least that’s what it felt to me when I realized that it exists.
It first showed up for me in a song. I was singing in a beautiful gothic-style church with a long echo. The reverberation was gorgeous for the music, but I had to work hard to articulate my words so they would be understandable to the audience. I slowed down my delivery…
I paused at the end of each phrase and placed all of my attention on listening to the sounds of the reverberation as the church walls bounced them back to me. (It’s not easy to do as you have to both listen to the sounds you are making and to the delay.)
At one (highly emotional) point in the song, I hesitated between two phrases long enough to receive the reverberated sound, and let it fade away. In that tiny pause of pure silence, I discovered the gap.
It wasn’t only a pause, it was like something suspended in the air. It was both silent and soaked with everything. It was void of me and full of God. It was free of my thoughts and filled with infinite possibilities. Do you know what I mean?
And then, I felt a deep inner understanding that this pause – that gap – was what MADE my music beautiful.
The gap was filled with sacred energy that would carry my song into the receiving hearts of people in the audience. I didn’t have anything to do with the gap, except pause for a moment and get out of the way.
Once I became aware of the gap, I geeked out on it… LOL
I recognized that the gap was where ‘transformation happens’ – like when we inhale and bring oxygen in, and exhale and take CO2 out of our bodies. The exchange happens in that tiny fraction of a moment when millions of cells receive O2 molecules and release CO2. Miraculous, right?
It first showed up for me in a song. I was singing in a beautiful gothic-style church with a long echo. The reverberation was gorgeous for the music, but I had to work hard to articulate my words so they would be understandable to the audience.
I slowed down my delivery… I paused at the end of each phrase and placed all of my attention on listening to the sounds of the reverberation as the church walls bounced them back to me. (It’s not easy to do as you have to both listen to the sounds you are making and to the delay.)
At one (highly emotional) point in the song, I hesitated between two phrases long enough to receive the reverberated sound, and let it fade away. In that tiny pause of pure silence, I discovered the gap.
It wasn’t only a pause, it was like something suspended in the air. It was both silent and soaked with everything. It was void of me and full of God. It was free of my thoughts and filled with infinite possibilities. Do you know what I mean?
And then, I felt a deep inner understanding that this pause – that gap – was what MADE my music beautiful.
The gap was filled with sacred energy that would carry my song into the receiving hearts of people in the audience. I didn’t have anything to do with the gap, except pause for a moment and get out of the way.
Once I became aware of the gap, I geeked out on it… LOL
I recognized that the gap was where ‘transformation happens’ – like when we inhale and bring oxygen in, and exhale and take CO2 out of our bodies. The exchange happens in that tiny fraction of a moment when millions of cells receive O2 molecules and release CO2. Miraculous, right?
Ok. Back to thoughts and choices and gaps (have I lost you with all this geeking out? LOL)
We go through our lives thinking about so many things. Actually, let’s narrow it down to an hour. Or even a minute.
The average person has about 48.6 thoughts per minute (according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California.)
That’s an average!
It goes way up when we are rushing to get our kids to school, feeding the dog, trying to find car keys, and glancing at the wall calendar to double-check if it’s really May 30. Then that triggers a thought about time going too fast and that your mom’s birthday is next week.
This thought leads to another about running out of time to plan a party. Then you think, “I should have bought her a gift”, which takes your mind into thinking about all the great birthday parties she threw for you.
Then you think about the doll she got for you and wonder “where is that doll now?” This triggers a thought about the mess of stuff in your garage and another one about needing your kids to help you clean it out, and then you run out to take your kids to school…
And you chase after your thoughts all day long…
How many of us stop and observe our thoughts, slow them down, and find the gap?
The gap between the thoughts in which we decide what our next thought will be – and not get pulled into the stories our mind will create for us (based on previous experiences, memories, fears, desires for fast relief when we bump into something uncomfortable)…
This gap is our opportunity for a change, a transformation. It is (I believe) the very “stillness” from “be still and know I am God” psalm verse. The gap in which we can let divine love guide our next choices and action.
A long time ago, a Franciscan priest taught me contemplative prayer – slowing down my thoughts and diving deeper into silence and listening.
About a decade ago my therapists recommended breathing meditation for my anxiety and panic attacks. Since I’ve been practicing observing my thoughts and allowing my mind to let me experience the gap, the stillness… I’ve been calmer, more peaceful, and less anxious.
My body feels better because when I slow down my mind, I give my body a chance to release stress and relax in the ‘rest and digest’ state.
And I can choose what to think when someone says something that triggers me.
Are you willing to try?
(You can practice it right now – as an answer to my question rises up, just listen and choose your next thought. :))
Ok. Back to thoughts and choices and gaps (have I lost you with all this geeking out? LOL)
We go through our lives thinking about so many things. Actually, let’s narrow it down to an hour. Or even a minute.
The average person has about 48.6 thoughts per minute (according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California.)
That’s an average!
It goes way up when we are rushing to get our kids to school, feeding the dog, trying to find car keys, and glancing at the wall calendar to double-check if it’s really May 30. Then that triggers a thought about time going too fast and that your mom’s birthday is next week.
This thought leads to another about running out of time to plan a party. Then you think, “I should have bought her a gift”, which takes your mind into thinking about all the great birthday parties she threw for you.
Then you think about the doll she got for you and wonder “where is that doll now?” This triggers a thought about the mess of stuff in your garage and another one about needing your kids to help you clean it out, and then you run out to take your kids to school…
And you chase after your thoughts all day long…
How many of us stop and observe our thoughts, slow them down, and find the gap?
The gap between the thoughts in which we decide what our next thought will be – and not get pulled into the stories our mind will create for us (based on previous experiences, memories, fears, desires for fast relief when we bump into something uncomfortable)…
This gap is our opportunity for a change, a transformation. It is (I believe) the very “stillness” from “be still and know I am God” psalm verse. The gap in which we can let divine love guide our next choices and action.
A long time ago, a Franciscan priest taught me contemplative prayer – slowing down my thoughts and diving deeper into silence and listening.
About a decade ago my therapists recommended breathing meditation for my anxiety and panic attacks. Since I’ve been practicing observing my thoughts and allowing my mind to let me experience the gap, the stillness… I’ve been calmer, more peaceful, and less anxious.
My body feels better because when I slow down my mind, I give my body a chance to release stress and relax in the ‘rest and digest’ state.
And I can choose what to think when someone says something that triggers me.
Are you willing to try?
(You can practice it right now – as an answer to my question rises up, just listen and choose your next thought. :))
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AND live your dream life.
Get weekly emails, exclusive content. special offers and
event updates directly to your inbox.