I was sitting on my back deck drinking coffee with David, enjoying a warm May morning and watching the wind move through the maple trees. The low, lacy clouds trailed along like dandelion seeds.

It was one of those moments that was so intensely beautiful and so incredibly simple – moments that calm the noises in your head down and you find yourself being completely present. You feel easy, calm, abundant, purposeful and fulfilled. The kind of a moment in which Life is good and you lean deep into the goodness of it. The kind in which you don’t need, lack or want anything else.

“Ah! it’s so beautiful and peaceful here. Just perfect!” I said and broke the stillness.

David looked up smiling at me. He looked tired. I noticed the chipped paint of the deck railing behind him, and a crooked flower box barely hanging on. I took my cup from the old small table with a piece of plywood on top and smiled back.

This was not your picture-perfect Instagram photo. It reminded me that, due to pandemic and lack of income, I won’t be able to fix many things on and around the house this summer. It also reminded me of many the people who are stuck in small apartments – or worse, in hospitals, where they are battling this virus isolated and alone.

“What should I write about in my blog?” I asked. “Write about how everyone’s dealing with the pandemic and quarantine, isolation and economy,” David answered.

This past week I held a webinar on “How Not Let What We Can’t Control, Control Us” for Nashville Chamber of Commerce. It was hosted by Radiant Coaches Academy where I got my certification as a life coach.

The one thing I loved in the training was that, as a coach, I wasn’t supposed to offer solutions to any problems. As a coach, my job is to provide tools and guidance for each of us to find or create our own solutions.

So, along those lines, I presented a set of tools that I use when dealing with a situation that could easily overwhelm me. The webinar went really well and everyone on the call loved the tools and commented how helpful and valuable it was to them. (If you are interested you can watch the recording here).

The four tools are:

breathing as a way to get still and centered
changing our mindset around the situation (going from fear to trust)
support (leaning on our community and God)
action (taking related and unrelated actions that engage us and give us a sense of purpose and service, rather than helplessness and despair)

Here are the beautiful graphics my son Evan made for me:

Yes, there are a lot of situations in our lives that we can’t control (like when Matthew was diagnosed with cancer, or the pandemic) – and we have to accept and live through them.

But what we can control is how we react or respond to it.

Most of us do two out of the four things:

We are able to change our mindset around it (instead of seeing the hopelessness of the situation, we say “God would never give you what you can’t handle.”)
We lean on our support system (family, church community) and some of us are good at asking for professional help (from a therapist or a coach).

For many years, I did those two. And I still felt a lot of anxiety that would keep me feeling helpless. That only fed my fear and created more anxiety, and even depression.

I was stuck in a cycle.

Only when I learned to use my breath as a very tactile and physical way to calm myself, was I able to remove myself from a ‘flight or fight’ reaction to a horrific situation (which is perfectly normal) and to see the situation clearly and listen for guidance. Deep, intentional breathing helps me to get still, connect with God and know that everything will be okay.

And taking an action – one small step at a time – helps me to become an active participant in finding or creating a solution. It even helps me contribute to our collective handling of the situation. (E.g. Wearing a mask and gloves is a related action that helps slow down the spread of the virus. Creating music during the pandemic is unrelated, but still gives me a sense of purpose and productivity. It also sends out a little bit of joy and hope and perhaps can even help a few people. And who knows, it may even serve as a relaxation to a scientist who is working around the clock to find a vaccine and a cure. :))

How can you use these 4 tools in your life?

I hope you find this helpful or inspiring. Find a moment today for some grace and love-soaked presence

🙂

Tatiana “Tajci” Cameron is an award-winning music artist, published author, inspirational speaker, and certified transformational and spiritual life coach.

She has many passions and is dedicated to helping others while also creating an enriched life for herself and her three sons. When Tajci is not on the road performing gigs, she volunteers with local organizations dear to her heart, spends time with loved ones (often involving music!), and collaborates with other artists to bring creative projects to life.

Tajci’s most recent projects include a meditation CD, an annual retreat & sea cruise in Croatia (that she organizes and hosts), and a multimedia CD/book (Un)Broken: Songs My Father Taught Me.

I so look forward to the Saturday emails and can’t wait to get to my inbox to read them! The inspiration, music, positivity, and faith….I need all of this so badly on some days. Thank you so much!

Carol

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