[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”-53px|||||”][et_pb_row disabled_on=”off|off|off” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” min_height=”1640px” custom_padding=”0px|||0px||”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text disabled_on=”on|off|off” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.5em” custom_padding=”|124px||124px|false|false”]<\/p>\n
Stressors and challenges in life come in many forms. As I write this, I’ve been dealing with a broken fridge for a few weeks now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Finally a tech showed up but only to diagnose the problem. He said that the part I needed (a new compressor) would arrive a few weeks later.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Luckily (miraculously, really)\u00a0the manager at the store where I bought the fridge felt so bad (I was emailing her the updates and she would always respond right away, acknowledging and hearing me), that she pulled some serious strings to do an exchange and get me a new fridge.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Halleluiah!<\/span><\/p>\n When I read her email, I was so moved that I teared up.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She didn\u2019t have to do that. But for some reason, she\u00a0wanted\u00a0to help. And she did have the power to bypass the system, and create a solution where there didn\u2019t seem to be one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” custom_padding=”|8px||7px|false|false”]<\/p>\n Stressors and challenges in life come in many forms. As I write this, I’ve been dealing with a broken fridge for a few weeks now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Finally a tech showed up but only to diagnose the problem. He said that the part I needed (a new compressor) would arrive a few weeks later.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Luckily (miraculously, really)\u00a0the manager at the store where I bought the fridge felt so bad (I was emailing her the updates and she would always respond right away, acknowledging and hearing me), that she pulled some serious strings to do an exchange and get me a new fridge.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Halleluiah!<\/span><\/p>\n When I read her email, I was so moved that I teared up.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She didn\u2019t have to do that. But for some reason, she\u00a0wanted\u00a0to help. And she did have the power to bypass the system, and create a solution where there didn\u2019t seem to be one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/tatianacameron.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/2021-Blog-SM-posts-1024×1024.png” title_text=”2021 Blog SM posts” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” width=”55%”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text disabled_on=”on|off|off” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” custom_padding=”|124px||124px|false|false”]<\/p>\n I immediately wrote to her:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n “I am very grateful for all the extra work and effort you have put into this. I know this is beyond what\u2019s expected and I really appreciate it. We\u2019ll make it through another five days. \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There are worse things in life, but boy, this has been an annoyance. This experience also made me reflect on how dependent we are on the big systems we created. Growing up in Croatia, we had only a very small fridge. But we shopped daily at the small shops, butchers, and farmers’ stands that were all within walking distance. In the winter, we ate smoked meat and canned vegetables. We also knew our farmers and grocery store workers and would always run into a friend while shopping.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When things break (because they do), and when companies that make them become too big to meet the needs of a single human, we relate to each other and that makes all the difference. Your kindness has helped me not to give into frustration and anger but to have patience and stay cool (no pun intended ;)) Thank you!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n In the end, it\u2019s the human connection that makes the world go around and makes life feel really\u00a0beautiful.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The lack of this human connection is what makes it feel scary, horrible, and lonely. <\/span><\/p>\n Without human connection, we become suspicious of each other, we feel the system is out to \u2018get us,\u2019 we get angry at anyone who\u2019s associated with the source of our frustration, we judge and pick someone to blame, disengage from people who are different from us, and even make up stories about it to justify our fears.<\/span><\/p>\n And with that behavior, we only create an even more disengaged and disconnected culture.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” custom_padding=”|16px||6px|false|false”]<\/p>\n I immediately wrote to her:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n “I am very grateful for all the extra work and effort you have put into this. I know this is beyond what\u2019s expected and I really appreciate it. We\u2019ll make it through another five days. \ud83d\ude42<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n There are worse things in life, but boy, this has been an annoyance. This experience also made me reflect on how dependent we are on the big systems we created. Growing up in Croatia, we had only a very small fridge. But we shopped daily at the small shops, butchers, and farmers’ stands that were all within walking distance. In the winter, we ate smoked meat and canned vegetables. We also knew our farmers and grocery store workers and would always run into a friend while shopping.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n When things break (because they do), and when companies that make them become too big to meet the needs of a single human, we relate to each other and that makes all the difference. Your kindness has helped me not to give into frustration and anger but to have patience and stay cool (no pun intended ;)) Thank you!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n In the end, it\u2019s the human connection that makes the world go around and makes life feel really\u00a0beautiful.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n The lack of this human connection is what makes it feel scary, horrible, and lonely. <\/span><\/p>\n Without human connection, we become suspicious of each other, we feel the system is out to \u2018get us,\u2019 we get angry at anyone who\u2019s associated with the source of our frustration, we judge and pick someone to blame, disengage from people who are different from us, and even make up stories about it to justify our fears.<\/span><\/p>\n And with that behavior, we only create an even more disengaged and disconnected culture.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/tatianacameron.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/FINAL_Blog-Banner-TC.com-2-1-1024×390.png” title_text=”FINAL_Blog Banner TC.com (2)” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text disabled_on=”on|off|off” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|124px||124px||”]<\/p>\n When we are willing to create more human connection – in person\u00a0or online – we actually have a chance to affect the big systems, one person at a time. It\u2019s like the story of a boy who was picking up the sea stars and throwing them back into the ocean. If we all meet at the beach and pick up one star, they\u2019d all be taken care of. It really works.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n I had another similar situation that brought this to light while I was running a workshop\u00a0for summer camp participants in East Nashville<\/strong>. Our musicians’ Union partnered up with the district that was organizing these free camps in an area that is traditionally poverty-stricken and disadvantaged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I can\u2019t tell you how rewarding it was to make a connection – through singing Croatian songs and teaching traditional Croatian dances! The kids were K-4th grade and they wanted to know what each word meant before they\u2019d repeat it. <\/span><\/p>\n They had no idea where or what Europe was, let alone\u00a0little Croatia. But they listened to me with curiosity, interest, and respect. I was so proud of them!<\/span><\/p>\n And some kids didn\u2019t feel like dancing and that was ok.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There was a boy who got embarrassed when I called out to everyone to do \u2018itsy bitsy spider\u2019 motions and he couldn\u2019t do it because he didn\u2019t know it. The teacher pulled him out and I stopped the song so she could teach him. <\/span><\/p>\n This exposed the little boy even more, making him feel singled out and maybe feeling inadequate (it’s so easy to trigger a feeling of “something\u2019s wrong with me because I\u2019m not like everyone else”… even if it\u2019s unintentional, right?).<\/span><\/p>\n The boy started tearing up and wanted to sit down, but \u2018participation\u2019 was one of the rules of the camp. I watched as the boy went into a mini anxiety attack.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I stopped the song and asked the whole class to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. A few times.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n That gave the teacher a chance to help the boy calm down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There are many moments like this one that, at a very young age, taught many of us about broken human connections. It\u2019s scary because when we are little and unable to take care of ourselves, our survival depends on that connection. <\/span><\/p>\n Keep that in mind – it will help you feel compassion for others ( and yourself) when it becomes too hard to connect.\u00a0Again,\u00a0the only thing that can fix this IS creating a human connection.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n When you think there is no way you can connect with someone else who is so different from you – or who, sitting on the other side of the phone seems less like a human and more like a bot hired by a company to read a script and funnel calls from unhappy customers – find something common you can connect on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t push your story onto others.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Listen. Try to find something in common.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” min_height=”49px” custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”]<\/p>\n When we are willing to create more human connection – in person\u00a0or online – we actually have a chance to affect the big systems, one person at a time. It\u2019s like the story of a boy who was picking up the sea stars and throwing them back into the ocean. If we all meet at the beach and pick up one star, they\u2019d all be taken care of. It really works.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I had another similar situation that brought this to light while I was running a workshop\u00a0for summer camp participants in East Nashville<\/strong>. Our musicians’ Union partnered up with the district that was organizing these free camps in an area that is traditionally poverty-stricken and disadvantaged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I can\u2019t tell you how rewarding it was to make a connection – through singing Croatian songs and teaching traditional Croatian dances! The kids were K-4th grade and they wanted to know what each word meant before they\u2019d repeat it. <\/span><\/p>\n They had no idea where or what Europe was, let alone\u00a0little Croatia. But they listened to me with curiosity, interest, and respect. I was so proud of them!<\/span><\/p>\n And some kids didn\u2019t feel like dancing and that was ok.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There was a boy who got embarrassed when I called out to everyone to do \u2018itsy bitsy spider\u2019 motions and he couldn\u2019t do it because he didn\u2019t know it. The teacher pulled him out and I stopped the song so she could teach him. <\/span><\/p>\n This exposed the little boy even more, making him feel singled out and maybe feeling inadequate (it’s so easy to trigger a feeling of “something\u2019s wrong with me because I\u2019m not like everyone else”… even if it\u2019s unintentional, right?).<\/span><\/p>\n The boy started tearing up and wanted to sit down, but \u2018participation\u2019 was one of the rules of the camp. I watched as the boy went into a mini anxiety attack.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I stopped the song and asked the whole class to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. A few times.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n That gave the teacher a chance to help the boy calm down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There are many moments like this one that, at a very young age, taught many of us about broken human connections. It\u2019s scary because when we are little and unable to take care of ourselves, our survival depends on that connection. <\/span><\/p>\n Keep that in mind – it will help you feel compassion for others ( and yourself) when it becomes too hard to connect.\u00a0Again,\u00a0the only thing that can fix this IS creating a human connection.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n When you think there is no way you can connect with someone else who is so different from you – or who, sitting on the other side of the phone seems less like a human and more like a bot hired by a company to read a script and funnel calls from unhappy customers – find something common you can connect on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t push your story onto others.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Listen. Try to find something in common.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \n \n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/tatianacameron.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/FINAL_Blog-Banner-TC.com-1-1024×390.png” title_text=”FINAL_Blog Banner TC.com (1)” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text disabled_on=”on|off|off” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”3px|124px||124px||”]<\/p>\n After the kids sang and danced and their energy needed to be grounded, I sang them a Croatian song about a fisherman. It\u2019s a slow song and I knew the kids wouldn\u2019t have the patience to listen to it without understanding a word\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n So I asked them if they liked fishing and asked them to imagine themselves fishing. Or to imagine just sitting by the river and looking at the little fish making bubbles on the surface. Or if they couldn’t remember being by the river, to think about the sky and the clouds (while I sing a song that sounds slow and long like fishing, or like clouds moving across the sky).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Just finding something everyone could relate to made all the difference.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Choose to connect through kindness, acceptance, compassion, and care. Through this, you’ll create\u00a0solutions where there seem to be none (or seem to be overwhelming, frustrating, and even fear-producing).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”4.5.7″ _module_preset=”default” text_line_height=”2.4em” min_height=”49px” custom_padding=”0px||0px|||”]<\/p>\n After the kids sang and danced and their energy needed to be grounded, I sang them a Croatian song about a fisherman. It\u2019s a slow song and I knew the kids wouldn\u2019t have the patience to listen to it without understanding a word\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n So I asked them if they liked fishing and asked them to imagine themselves fishing. Or to imagine just sitting by the river and looking at the little fish making bubbles on the surface. Or if they couldn’t remember being by the river, to think about the sky and the clouds (while I sing a song that sounds slow and long like fishing, or like clouds moving across the sky).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Just finding something everyone could relate to made all the difference.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Choose to connect through kindness, acceptance, compassion, and care. Through this, you’ll create\u00a0solutions where there seem to be none (or seem to be overwhelming, frustrating, and even fear-producing).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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