\u201cI didn\u2019t know it was changeable,\u201d<\/i>\u00a0my son Evan said as we worked on redesigning his room.<\/div>\n
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A trip to Ikea was all he needed to get started. And a new ceiling fan.\u00a0\u201cLook, it actually moves air,\u201d<\/i>\u00a0 we laughed as he demonstrated the speed of the brand new, sleek-looking fan with black blades that matched his furniture.<\/div>\n
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\u201cI can\u2019t believe it took us five years to replace it,\u201d<\/i>\u00a0I said. His old fan never worked properly. It was a nursery-like fan with blue, pink and yellow pastels – a leftover from the previous owners.\u00a0\u201cWell, at least you\u2019ll WANT to come home on your breaks,\u201d<\/i>\u00a0I joked, as he is only a few months away from starting college.<\/div>\n
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I left his room and went downstairs to finish some work.<\/div>\n
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\u201cI didn\u2019t know it was changeable,\u201d\u00a0<\/i>I kept hearing in my mind.<\/div>\n
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It was that easy.\u00a0The only thing he needed was to know that he could make a change.<\/b><\/div>\n
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I remembered the moment a few years back when he realized he could change an old pair of shoes into a new favorite one by drawing designs on them. I would NEVER think of painting my shoes! I never considered shoes to be changeable ![\"\ud83d\ude42\"](\"data:image\/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAEAAAABCAQAAAC1HAwCAAAAC0lEQVR42mNgYAAAAAMAASsJTYQAAAAASUVORK5CYII=\" "\\":slightly_smiling_face:\\"")
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The next day, my boys came back from school in an excited conversation. Blais, my youngest son, had a challenging day so he was feeling a bit down and discouraged. On top of it he had several big tests coming up and a huge scientific essay to write. He felt overwhelmed.<\/div>\n
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I listened attentively as he expressed his feelings and concerns. Evan walked by and said:\u00a0\u201cBlais, just\u00a0<\/i>change your mindset around it<\/i><\/b>. Instead of thinking about the 41 things you have to do,\u00a0<\/i>focus on the smallest steps and get them done<\/i><\/b>.”<\/i><\/div>\n
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\u201cYea, I know,\u201d<\/i>\u00a0Blais said and hugged me. For him, that hug was the first smallest step he needed to take – the thing that offered comfort and a sense of being acknowledged. Then he pulled out a piece of paper, some colored pens and asked me to help him break down the projects into small tasks and place them on a calendar.<\/div>\n
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Everything is changeable.<\/b><\/i><\/div>\n
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Rooms, ceiling fans, shoes, mindsets, even stress and overwhelm.<\/div>\n
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Can you think of something that you might have not considered as\u00a0changeable\u00a0<\/i>before?<\/div>\n
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Can our pasts be changeable? I didn\u2019t think so. But as I\u2019ve been working on my memoir, I\u2019ve realized that, while we can\u2019t change an event that happened, we can change our perspective of it. In this way, our experience of it changes as well.<\/div>\n
\u2014-<\/div>\n
Once, during my formal training as a classical pianist (that I eventually dropped in favor of broadening my music career focus), I had to perform a Mozart piece for my final grade. Toward the end of the piece, I blanked out. As I was approaching the final few measures (the \u2018cadence\u2019) I panicked. I knew enough theory behind Mozart\u2019s composition style so I made up something that sounded \u2018Mozart-ish.\u2019 I thought it was nearly perfect, and I finished feeling so proud of myself for a \u2018great save.\u2019<\/div>\n
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My piano teacher wasn\u2019t impressed. She met me in the hallway and said sternly:\u00a0\u201cAlthough it was a pretty impressive improvisation-skill you demonstrated, you don\u2019t get to re-write Mozart! I won\u2019t be surprised if they fail you.\u201d<\/i><\/div>\n
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I felt reprimanded and embarrassed. I never meant to disrespect Mozart. I also felt excited. If I let my audience know I\u2019m changing it, it IS changeable <\/div>\n