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I sat in the kitchen, by a big window that overlooks my backyard and I enjoyed the soft colors of the autumn sunlight. I slowly inhaled the sweet fragrance of the apples that I keep in a bowl on the table and closed my eyes.<\/div>\n
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A little box of Nerds – leftover Halloween candy – caught my attention and brought back the memory of my little toddlers\u2019 fingers reaching in for the tiny little pieces of sour candy.<\/div>\n
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I felt the familiar ache that shows up when I think of all that\u2019s in the past that can never be again. The natural grief for moments we wish would last forever and yet we know they could not. The grief that is there because we care and love deeply.<\/div>\n
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I reached for my diary, but instead of writing, I flipped through its pages – only a few blank ones remained. I remembered when I bought it three years ago. It was a thick notebook, one I anticipated filling with good stuff, with daring new projects and records of courage and growth. I never could have imagined what life would have brought to me by the end of its pages.<\/div>\n
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I read a few of my entries. No matter how hard things got, I took each situation – including the fear and pain it came with – straight on. I didn\u2019t numb or distract from it, I didn\u2019t try to hold onto it in hopes that it would all disappear, and I didn\u2019t get stuck in it.<\/div>\n
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That in and of itself helped me through the hardest of times.<\/div>\n
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Sometimes it\u2019s not about what we do when life doesn\u2019t go the way we hoped it would. It\u2019s about what we don\u2019t do. It\u2019s how we don\u2019t add to our struggles, and how we don\u2019t stay in the way of healing. It\u2019s how we are willing to\u00a0let go and move onward, willingly accepting and embracing every small gift Life has for us each day<\/b>. Like the fragrance of apples, or the tiny opened box of Nerds. Or a song that plays on the radio exactly at the time when you needed to hear it.<\/div>\n
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Here\u2019s another story about how the small \u2018gifts\u2019 of life helped me transform\u2026<\/div>\n
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Three years ago, I was struggling – professionally, personally and financially.<\/div>\n
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I didn\u2019t have enough work to bring the income we needed, Matthew and I had huge disagreements and were falling apart, and the holidays were coming. I decided to give myself an \u201cAdvent Calendar\u201d and each day write about a different Gift that I already had in my life. I shared them with a small group of people and by Christmas I had a collection of 25 Gifts.<\/div>\n
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